Although the NFL season is far away, it's never too early to teach the women in our lives common fantasy football etiquette. Due to the success of the Beer Goggle's Top Ten, I decided to create a Top Ten list for fantasy football. Enjoy.
10. If you draft Adrian Peterson with the first pick, you are not a fantasy football genius. Rather, you are an asshole who got lucky.
9. Sunday's are off limits. Don't even ask.
8. If you stand in front of the TV during a game, something is getting thrown at your head.
7. A fantasy leaguer who is wearing a thong and a Redskins' jersey isn't gay. He just lost a bet.
6. Life might suck, but for 20 weeks in the fall we have something to live for.
5. Did I say Sundays' are off limits yet. Get a babysitter already. I hear there are some good ones on Craig's List.
4. Picked Payton Manning for your QB? Creative. Original. Fuck you, I got Jay Cutler.
3. If you come to a fantasy party, bring something besides your fat ass. Nobody likes that guy.
2. Bret Farve is an asshole. Don't ask questions. He is.
1. Yes, fantasy football players are considered to be athletes.